broken.walls.of.trust

Wed, 29 Mar 2006 17:41:27 GMT

So I dont think I even have any friends on here anymore.. its just been wayy to long since ive updated on here.
life is going pretty good...
still living in boston
changed my major to social work, and im loving it!!
i work for the hottest night club in boston.. so its always a good time
friends are friends.. an their usually bitchy drama filled lives. i try to keep myself out of it.

so all and all i guess im pretty happy. cant complain...

but ya... because i never update here.. if anyone does happe to read this... then here is my screen name and my myspace link.. since myspace is the new craze!!

s/n: fallennightsky
myspace: http://www.myspace.com/emma143x

so find me there :) and be my friend! haha byee

Fri, 14 Oct 2005 17:14:27 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME !!!!!!!!!!!!

I CANT BELIEVE IM 20 !! NO MORE TEENAGER FOR ME!

hitting up the club with some girls from school tonight. and Jocelyn and Erica are coming from home to spend the night too !!! I cant wait... best birthday ever so far <33

Mon, 12 Sep 2005 13:38:00 GMT

So I never update anymore... I know. I love my new school. I love my friends, I basically love everything about it right now. Except for the classes part. They suck !! I have two 3 hour classes in a row on Thursdays. And it sucks !!!

But as for now I really need to go get dressed and get ready for class <33

Thu, 01 Sep 2005 02:31:49 GMT

Its been a long time sense I have written in here. Its been a crazy summer of working 80 hour weeks. But I made it through. I am doing a few last minute shopping and packing. I move into school on Friday. So tomorrow is my last day in the wonderful NA !!! I am soo excited to move into school, to be in Boston, and just start all over. I am so happy to not be going back to Hartford. Ya know its amazing, I didnt talk to one person from Hartford all summer after I left. Its pretty amazing the kind of "friends" I supposidly made. It shows nobody was really a true friend at all.....

but this year will be all different !! No more making friends with immature little bitches. This time im not putting up with anyones shit. You either want to be my friend or not. And thats it...

okay back to some more crazy packing.

Mon, 18 Jul 2005 10:50:47 GMT

my life is so crazy. I dont even have time to sleep. I have no time to myself to relax, see friends, or do anytthing ! I work 7:30-4 at the summer camp, mon-fri. then i work 5 days a week at friendly's 5-11, or weekends 1-9. So most days I go from working 8 hours at camp, straight to 6 hours at friendly's. It is fucking crazy. I am so exhausted, I am making myself sick. And I just feel as though im going to collapse !!! I cant handle working 75 hours a week anymore !!!!!

Sun, 29 May 2005 16:05:41 GMT

i officially start working at friendly's on tuesday. i cant wait ! i cant wait to start making some money. and then come july ill be working at the summer camp too, and ill be making soooo much. over 600$ a week !! :)

im seeing my dad this afternoon. we had to switch days, because my brother is now working at the gas stations on sundays. Then im hopefully seeing Jocelyn after. I love that girl !

thats really it. Im still exhausted.... im always tired, and I dont do anything !!!

okay i gotta go get ready to go out... byee

-have a good day everyone !

Wed, 25 May 2005 03:14:37 GMT

oh ya... one more positive... I MADE DEANS LIST !!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Wed, 25 May 2005 03:13:39 GMT

few quick updates....

+ got a job !!!! besides the summer camp which starts in july, i am now a waitress at the friendly's restaurant in Lawrence !!! come by and visit :)

+ i have been hanging out a lot with Jocelyn. Just like the old days of high school... its gunna be a crazy summer now that the dynamic duo is back together. All we need now is Erica to leave her cave of an apartment and come out too !!!

+ me and jason are still as amazing as ever <3

+ joined weight watchers... again! hopefully this time I can stay truly commited. Ive already lost about 9 pounds in the past 2 weeks. go me !!

- I am incredibly poor. I have no gas in my car, no ciggs to smoke. and no nothing :(

+ BUT I DO HAVE A JOB !!!

that is all <3

Sat, 14 May 2005 15:31:43 GMT

So I got my grades back from last semester.... and I am soooo happy !!!

Special Education: A
Understanding yourself and others (Education): A-
Psychology: B+
English: A

So my GPA for the semester is a 3.74
and my cumulative GPA is 3.34

i am soooooooooooooo happy :) :) :)

my goal was to bring my GPA up to a 3.7, and I did it !!!

Wed, 11 May 2005 17:43:14 GMT

I AM DONE WITH MY FRESHMAN YEAR OF COLLEGE ! I AM DONE AT THE UNIVERSITY OF HARTFORD FOREVER!!
ya sorry i am a little bit excited. i am so happy to be home. so happy to be closer to my friends, family and jason. i am just all around happy right now !!!! no more stupid immature bullshit at school. this summer is going to be like all the rest... AMAZING!

Ana....

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 04:55:43 GMT

I got a call at about 7:30am yesterday from Elaine, my friend Justin's mom. She said that something terrible happened. Jason's best friend Joey, his mom had a heart attack and passed away at about 3am Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. She had been having pains in her arm and chest all week. She finally went to the doctors Tuesday evening. They said that it was a pinched nerve so they gave her muscle relaxants. it relaxed her muscles so much, that she did not even feel that she was having a heart attack until she collapsed. And she didnt make it. All I can think about is how much of an amazing woman she was. She was the kind of woman that was everyones mom. I would always go over and talk with her, and joke around with her and her 8 year old daughter, while Jason hung out with her 2 older sons. She would tell some crazy stories, and had a voice where you knew she was coming from miles away. She had a way about herself that no matter how sad or upset you were, she always got a smile about her. I really had some amazing talks with her, and if me and Jason were fighting, she was always the shoulder I ran to, to cry on. She was definetly considered everyone's mother. She just celebrated her 40th birthday 2 weeks ago.....

So I came home yesterday afternoon. I will stay home for the wake, and leave Sunday night to go back to school. Ill have to miss the funeral. All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around her daughter Samantha, and never let go. But Samantha is too young to understand. She was still runinng around and smiling and playing, while everyone around her was xrying. It wont hit her until she all of a sudden realizes that mommy isnt around anymore.

It didnt hit me until last night when I saw her kids, and everyone else. We all cryed, hugged and drank together.. in memory of Ana. Thats how she would of wanted it to be... us celebrating her life with drinks... because she would of had a huge glass right with the rest of us, and would of been the most wasted of us all !!!

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 16:33:22 GMT

i have been feeling so shitty lately :(

my head is still killing, my whole body has been aching and shakey. i just feel horrible.
and this medecine makes me hands and fingers numb and painful. and it is soo uncomfortable.

i feel like shit :(

i want to go back to bed. but people are very loud !!

i am ALMOST done !!! and i cant wait !! i cant wait to see my girls :) :) :)

Fri, 15 Apr 2005 13:36:29 GMT

i cant wait to leave this school....

i got woken up three times because people are so inconsiderate !!! i got woken up 3 times by screaming people. first it was the guy upstairs. it sounded like he was doing construction !!! but then he got quiet and it was everyone else around. I was so annoyed. At like 11 its fine, but once its after midnight, its just rude !! you know people sleep, and people have to be awake early. so just maybe show some respect. Im really upset and pissed off. I cant wait to leave this place in less than 3 weeks... im just so aggrivated !!!

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 00:17:41 GMT

so only 3 weeks of classes
exactly 13 days left :)

i CANNOT wait !!

i move into Wheelock on Sept. 2nd. and classes start Sept. 7th :)

wooohoooo

Tue, 05 Apr 2005 18:56:08 GMT

i havent written in here in forever. just thought id say hi. im working my ass off at school, to bring my GPA up to a 3.7. right now I have 3 A's and a B. and im taking my history class pass/fail. that way i dont fuck up my GPA. because im doing horribly.

i am so exhausted. and i have a huge psych exam tonight. and so much shit and papers to write.

4 weeks till my freshman year of college is over !!!!!!!!!

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 16:24:15 GMT

so lets sum up the most horrible spring break ever....

friday i go to the neurologist, and he decides that on Monday, I need to have a spinal tap done.
friday night I go over to Yoky's and get to see all my girls <33

sunday evening my mom goes into her room, to find my dog cassy laying on the ground not breathing. We had her for 10 years.... and she passed away out of nowhere :'( :'(
sunday night, jason got arrested.... but thats a whole different story im not getting into.

monday morning i go and get a spinal tap. which was the most painful thing ever. he hit a nerve when he stuck the needle in, and i have never felts so much pain ever.

tuesday was feeling really shitty with really bad headaches and couldnt get out of bed.

wednesday i decided to try to eat something. BAD IDEA. I got so sick, that I literally couldnt move.

and it went on all week...

so now here it is on Friday... and i am still not supposed to be out of bed, i have to stay lying flat, to try and keep my spinal fluid pressure even.

-the spinal tap did find that i have really high pressure in my spine and head. you are supposed to be at 20, and im at 36 i think.... so im on medecine for most likely FOREVER. and im so sick because he took some fluid to test it, and some is leaking out for the needle, that my pressure has dropped really low.

what a spring break.... and i dont want to go back to school at all :( HELP

Thu, 17 Mar 2005 03:32:01 GMT

so i completly forgot to post this... but i got accepted to wheelock college !!! which means i can transfer the fuck out of hartford! so watch out Boston... ill see you in the fall. And I cannot wait to be home with my friends and family for good !!! wooohoooo. get me the hell out of hartford!

Fri, 11 Feb 2005 02:48:42 GMT

so I am buying myself a new car. And I am so happy. The people that I babysit for, down here in Hartford, are selling their car. It is a Toyota Tercel. Its 2 door, light green and only has 77,000 miles on it !! and of course it is standard !!! id never drive an automatic again ;)It is soooo cute !!! The book value is well over 1,000$, but sense I am very good friends with the family, from babysitting their daughters, they are selling it to me for only 500$. So my mom is lending me the $$, and I am paying her back by the end of the summer. And basically im going to work my ass off this summer. But sense im going to school in Boston next year, ill have no problem working in the city, so ill have a steady income during school too.

haha I cant wait to drive my new car !!!!!

Tue, 18 Jan 2005 20:02:37 GMT

So im back at school... moved back in yesterday. :(
i had the most amazing month off !! me and jason are perfect. we have never been better. and I am so happy. but then I had to come back here. but in 4 months.. I will be home for good ! and I cant wait !!
So I have new classes, and a new schedule. So im starting off all new !
here the schedule for this semester

Monday-
8:30-9:45 Understanding Yourself and Others (education class)
11:30-1 Psychology of Exceptionalities (special education class)

Tuesday-
8-9:10 Reading and Writing
7:10pm-9:50pm Psychology 101

Wednesday-
8:30-9:45 Understanding Yourself and Others (education class)
11:30-1 Psychology of Exceptionalities (special education class)
7pm-9:30pm Discovering America 1945-present

Thursday-
8-9:10 Reading and Writing

AND THATS IT !! no friday classes, and only 1 class on thursday
and me and nikky have 3 classes together, including the 2 night classes. so its going to be a very good semester !!

Fri, 24 Dec 2004 18:10:57 GMT

got all my grades from this past semester...

intro to education B-
sociology C+ (how did i pull that off?)
American Government B+
Reading & Writing B
Contemporary Math A-

how the fuck did I get an A in college math, when i couldnt even pass high school math. i always failed Miss L's class in HS... and got kicked out for the year from Dinsmore's my senior year.

Sat, 04 Dec 2004 16:03:22 GMT

so im working at the basketball games on campus, making just enough to go home on weekends !!

and i got my job back at dunkins for over winter break !! im going to be working full time.. and rolling in the cash ! and then next semester, i am going home every weekends to work a dunkins. sense i have no friday classes, and im done with class at 11:50 on thursday. nikky is done at the same time on thursdays. so im driving w/ her to providence, and taking a bus from providence to boston. and its only 11$ round trip, instead of 45$ round trip from hartford. yay !!!!

well off to work <3

Sat, 04 Dec 2004 03:00:32 GMT

1. time you started: 9:43pm
2. full name? Emma Dorothy Patria
3. birthday? October 14th
4. nickname? emmather, mama emma (thanks robbie), sweety, emmapie, em, eeeema
5. birthplace? Boston
6. hair/eye color? dark brown hair ~ brown eyes
7. silings? 2 brothers * Ian, 22
8. last cd you bought? Dait has been so long since i bought a cd
9. last movie you saw in the theatre? johnsons family vacation.. or something like that
10. last movie you rented? ahh ... Almost Famous
11. favorite school subject? probably my education class due to field work, or math
12. least favorite school subject? sociology with markson :(
13. do you actually like math? in high school i hated it, but here it is my best class!
14. who are your best friends? erica, nikky, chrissy
15. do you have a crush? yes :)
16. who are your best online friends? i only talk to people i know online...
17. favorite actress? Julia Roberts
18. favorite actor? Johnny Depp
19. favorite movie? American history X, blow, fear, thirteen, almost famous... i love movies :)
20. favorite tv show? sex and the city
21. favorite song? lets get married-jagged edge, the reason-hoobastank
22. favorite band? a lot...
23. favorite store? old navy
24. who's your favorite relative? i love all of my family ! <3
25. favorite sport? softball
26. favorite food? pizza
27. worst fear? spiders, seaweed, dying
28. favorite color? pink
29. best feeling in the world? being loved :)
30. worst feeling in the world? having a broken heart
31. best memory? GERMANY 2003 !!... october 24th, 2002.. when me and jason got together
32. worst memory? loosing Alex <3 11/2/1985-3/15/2002
What Do You think about
33. bill clinton? the past
34. love at first sight? its happened :) jason <3
35. abortion? depends on the situation
36. marilyn manson? forever ago
37. premarital sex? dosent matter
38. the jerry springer show? old news
39. dreams? i love em if they are good :)
40. drinking? im in college.. what can you expect ;)
41. god? yes
42. what cd is in your cd player right now? a burned CD
43. do you believe in heaven and hell? yes
44. do you believe in angels? yes
45. do you believe in aliens? no
46. do you believe in yourself? at times
47. do you want to get married? yea
48. do you want to have kids? yes
49. what is one thing about you that pisses your friends off? i dont think anything
50. what is your favorite music video? im not sure
51. do you have any stuffed animals? yes
52. do you have any bad habits? biting my nails, biting my lip
53. what is your favorite hangout? b complex, the village, my boyfriends house, erica and robbies place on the weekends
54. have you ever been in love? yes <3 jason paul porter
55. are you a virgin? no
56. where do you want to go on your honeymoon? back to german
57. where do you wish to be right now? at home, at jasons house !!
58. what are you thinking this very moment? how much i miss jason and wish i was home :(
59. what do you think of the song "pretty fly for a white guy"? Its old
60. are you vegetarian? nope.
61. favorite kind of clothes? anything comfy.
62. last person you called on the phone? jason
63. last tv show you watched? family bonds
have you ever?
64. been on an airplane? yes
65. went swimming in the ocean? yeah
66. been to europe? yes
67. been to mexico? nope
68. been to cananda? me and erica tried to drive there.. but failed
69. been to australia? no
70. cried in public? yes
71. had a life changing experience? yes. loosing a close friend
72. let someone cry on your shoulder? yes
73. fell asleep in the shower? haha ya one time when i was sick
74. gone to church? not often
75. climbed a tree? yes.. good old village green days
76. watched dawsons creek? ya when it first came on
77. gone skiing? ya
78. gone snowboarding? yes
79. been on a motorcycle? yes... those were the days ! at the beach with erica, jocelyn and ashley
80. fell asleep during a scary movie? ya
81. stayed up all night? ya.. trying to study or damn sociology
82. played soccer? ya. i played from when i was 6 until 8th grade
84. been to a major league baseball game? sox baby !!!
85. saw a pro basketball game? celtics !!
86. kissed the same sex? haha ya
87. kissed the opposite sex? ya
88. eaten sushi? yes.. yum
89. eaten fish? yes
90. eaten caviar? ive tried it.. and didnt like it
91. seen someone die? yes
92. wanted to die? no
93. met a celebrity? yea .. tons :)
94. met the president? no
95. didnt wash your hair for a week? no
96. driven a car? yep
97. broken a bone? no
98. broken something valuable? ya
99. skipped school? ya
100. bought ice cream from an ice cream truck? yes.. all summer long
101. used you parents credit card without permission? no
102. been scared of getting shot? once
103. gotten a cavity? nah. i brush and floss :)
104. broken a bone? no
105. been given stitches? ya when i had heart surgery and again when i had plastic surgery
106. shopped at abercrombie and fitch? yes
107. made prank phone calls? yes
108. gone into a hallway and done the nasty? haha....
109. gone skinny dipping? yep
110. snuck out of your house? ya
111. been in a fight? yes
112. what is your favorite website? www.thefacebook.com its addictive !
113. what is on your mousepad? i dont have a mouse pad
114. what is your favorite smell? dolce & gabbana light blue - jason bought it for me. and this perfume from fredericks of hollywood
115. do you have any pets? my dog Cassy
116. is the glass half empty or half full? half full
117. lefty, righty, or ambidextrous? lefty
118. do you type with your fingers on the right keys? no
119. what is under your bed? sodas, some food, my backpack, and a case of water
120. what is your dream car? a 67 chevelle
121. do you have any piercings or tattoos? my ears, nose, and 2 tattoos
122. do you want any? my tounge
123. do you wear glasses? ya. but i have contacts too
124. have you ever eaten a crayon? no
125. do you sing in the shower? of course :)
126. do you talk to your pet? ya
127. do you talk to yourself? no
128. do you talk in your sleep? i mumble sometimes.. or so ive been told
129. do you snore? if im sick i think i might
130. do you shave your legs? ya
131. what causes do you believe in? a lot
132. what do you think is gross? seaweed
133. what scares you? seaweed, spiders, snakes, bugs, dying
134. where are your ancestors from? Italy, Romania
135. what do you say funny? i have the classic boston accent. and ppl make fun of me for it. i say rum instead of room and brum instead of brook
136. what is your worst injury ever? after my car accident, i looked horrible
137. what is the hardest thing about growing up? being away from home !!
138. favorite quote? " if you love someone let them go. if they come back they are yours. if not it was never meant to be." ~ my mom tells me that one
139. are you crossing your legs right now? ya
140. any closing statements? i wish i was home right now :( but instead im going out with my girls to take my mind off of being stuck on campus !!!

Thu, 25 Nov 2004 06:14:59 GMT

i am so happy to be home !! to be with my family, and my boyfriend and my friends !!! <3

ive missed everyone so much, and it is amazing to be home ! i dont ever want to go back to conn. i have connecticut !

everyone here is just so much better !!

but i still love my UofH girlys !! <3.. and our crazy times !

and I MISS SHANNON !!!! shannon come home from florida already !! i cant wait for xmas break when you come home !!

and i get to see my chrissy and jess ritter this weekend too !!!

oh being home is great. i never thought id say this.. but boy do I miss NA

Sun, 21 Nov 2004 17:44:05 GMT

I...
[x] have a bf.
[ ] have a gf.
[ ] have a crush.
[x] feel loved.
[x] feel lonely.
[x] feel happy.
[x] hate myself.
[ ] think i'm attractive.
[x] have a dog.
[ ] have my own room.
[x] listen to rap.
[x] listen to rock.
[x] listen to soul.
[ ] listen to techno.
[x] listen to reggae.
[x] paint my nails.
[x] have more than 1 best friend.
[ ] get good grades.
[ ] play an instrument.
[x] have slippers.
[x] wear boxers. sometimes
[x] wear black eyeliner.
[x] like the color blue.
[ ] like the color yellow.
[ ] cyber.
[x] like to read.
[x] like to write.
[x] have long hair.
[ ] have short hair.
[x] have a cell phone.
[x] have a laptop.
[ ] have a pager.

Fri, 19 Nov 2004 13:25:35 GMT

so here is my schedule for next semester.... enjoy :)

monday:
11:30-1 psychology of exceptionalities (an education class)

Tuesday:
8:00-9:20 intro to literature
10:40-11:50 reading and wriitng II
7:10-9:50pm intro to psychology 101

Wednesday:
11:30-1 psychology of exceptionalities (an education class
7:00-9:30pm discovering america 1945-present

Thursday:
8:00-9:20 intro to literature
10:40-11:50 reading and wriitng II

Friday:
NOTHING !!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY

not bad at all. 2 night classes and 1 8am on tues and thurs. but hey 1 class on monday and no fridays. it doesnt get any better then that !